"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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