Sponge bath it is.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
