It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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