oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We don't watch enough power rangers
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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