i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
