he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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