I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
