and she was petting her beer can
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
