do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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