did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
