So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
