they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
