meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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