Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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