i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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