So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
