Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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