I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
