As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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