Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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