I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
