well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
