sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
