Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
