what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up under a house in Key West
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
