it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
