i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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