Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
