I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We named our party play list daddy issues
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
