thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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