it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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