I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
When are your genitals available?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
