it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
