Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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