that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
