He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
