his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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