Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
