we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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