so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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