She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
