is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Houston, we have a squirter
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
