words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize