I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
