I am puke
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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