I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can't put those talents on a resume
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
