At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I CAN MOONWALK!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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