I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
