There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
