capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
