jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
