Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
what day is it and did you see me today?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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