New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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