M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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