Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize