i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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