I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
