Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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