You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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