Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize