i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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