he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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