I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
