we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
