better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
As shirtless as possible
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I am mentally ready for anal.
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