So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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